When we’ve had a wonderful experience during a meditation, session or course, we all want to hold on to that energy and experience it as long as we can. However, there always comes a time when you fall out of that beautiful energy and have to deal with other energies and emotions again. Sometimes it really feels like you have fallen back and that the growth that you experienced, somehow disappeared. This can be very frustrating.
What usually happens when you fall out of a high energy or wonderful experience is this:
1: You notice that you have fallen out of that beautiful energy that you enjoyed so much;
2: You judge yourself for falling back or for forgetting to use your newly acquired tools;
3: These judgments start a whole cycle of more judgments, doubts and maybe even fear. This cycle throws you even more off-balance.
The key in this cycle is step #2: judging yourself. When you learn to let go of these judgments, you can find a new balance much more quickly.
I’m going to give you a few things to consider and then a simple, step by step plan to by-pass these judgments and doubts, so that you can flow more easily with this process of growth and make your life a little bit easier.
Things to remember
First: remember that this is the way we grow. We take three steps forward and one step back. There truly is nothing wrong with that. Taking that step back allows us to more fully integrate what we have learned and ingrain it into our system.
There is also another way to look at this. A few years ago I intuitively saw an image of a mountain. It looked like a drawing in a comic book, with a small path that leads to the top. The top of the mountain stands for your goal and that which you want to achieve in life. The path leading up to the mountain stands for your life and your life’s experiences as you walk towards your goal.
The crucial message of this image is that the path does not lead to the top in one straight line. It goes up and down as it meanders around the mountain. As we reach one of those points where the path temporarily goes down, we tend to judge ourselves because we are again at the same height that we were before and we think that we have gone backwards. But that is not the case. We have been walking forward all the time, it is just that the path goes down for a little bit before it goes up again. All of these steps are necessary to ultimately climb the mountaintop. There are no shortcuts. There are ups and downs and when you just keep walking, you will reach your destination. Don’t forget to enjoy the journey and the view along the way, as you climb your own personal mountain and walk through your life.
The other thing that I want you to remember is that you can actually help other people in the areas that you have struggled most with. For example, I have always had a natural tendency to be ungrounded and not be fully present in my body. I had to learn to ground myself, to be present and especially to stay present and grounded when I was having uncomfortable experiences. Over and over again I noticed that I had gone out of my body and had to bring myself back. This used to be a very frustrating experience and I judged myself for it, until I realized that I now attract many people in my sessions and courses who are having trouble with grounding. And BECAUSE I have had such difficulties with it, I know exactly what they are talking about, what their challenges are and when they arise and most importantly, what they can do about that. So I am now assisting others in something that I have struggled with over and over again; and it is especially because I have struggled with it that I can help these people with compassion, understanding and from my own experience.
When I now find myself in that situation of being ungrounded again, I remind myself that apparently, there is something else for me to learn in that situation. And that once I have learned that piece, I can turn around and teach it to others. So there is a purpose in the struggle. That takes away a whole layer of judgment and it makes it much easier to just do what I need to do to bring myself back, without doubting or judging myself.
Also remember that every time you bring yourself from a lower energy into a higher energy, you have grown that pathway and integrated it more fully. The next time you find yourself in a lower energy, it will be easier to come back because you’ve done it before. Practice is the key word here. Every time you practice, you grow. Every time you practice, it becomes a little easier. Every time you practice, you integrate the higher energies deeper into your being.
What can you do on a practical level when you have taken a step back?
Here is my step by step plan for when you feel you have taken a step back and are dealing with old patterns, thoughts or emotions again.
1) Notice what is happening in your thoughts, emotions and body. Become the observer and be alert on any thoughts of judgment or doubt that might arise within you.
2) When you find these thoughts of judgment or doubt, choose to stay the observer instead of believing the thoughts and going into them. You might want to affirm: “I choose to let go of all doubts and judgments about myself” and see what happens when you do that.
3) Consciously connect with your knowing that all is well. Remember the image of the mountain and know that you are walking forward and that you are on the right track. Step by step, you are growing and evolving into who you want to be.
4) Remember the times where things went really well for you. The times where you felt these high energies in your being and were able to have these wonderful experiences. Focus on what went right instead of what went wrong and choose to build on the good experiences instead of on your so-called ‘mistakes’.
5) Bring yourself in a better mood by doing something that you love. This can be something metaphysical like meditation, yoga or reading an inspiring book. It can also be something completely different: watching a funny movie, going for a walk, calling a friend, etc. See what works for you. Everything that makes you feel even a little bit better is perfect. You can also make a list of things that you really enjoy and then use that list as a reminder when you need it.
I wish you all the best on your journey and I truly hope that we can all release our judgments and doubts about ourselves and flow more easily with all the phases in our life.
Let me know what you think in the comments below. How can you use this in your daily life? What did you think of this article?
From my heart to yours,